Bring me your hair

Could you bring your head a little closer please?

Hmmm. My, my, interesting. Indeed. Hold still, I'm not done yet.

Look, I've figured out that I don't get to leave this apartment. Dogs, cars, missing cat posters, yakety yak. You, on the other hand, go where you please, when you please. So the least you can do is let me check out the odors you bring back. Your hair is, frankly, an odor sponge.

For example you've been hanging around smokers again. And you complain about my litter box?

There was also a large body of water. Really large, and salty. And full of...fish. Oh my. More than a few birds, too, but not of an appetizing sort.

Okay, I'm done with your hair. You can go now. But leave your shoes. They'll be another ten minutes.